jigsaw
by trypophobica
Summary: "we're not done trying, are we?" she grinned, seeing her taller friend's eyes flash with determination. "hell no, honey." / or, the btr guys are girls and love triangles are hard. like, hard as rocks, hard. slash, whump.
1. blatantly unhappy

**A/N: **Hey, guys! You know those really cool AU BTR stories that are like 50 thousand chapters and are really popular even though they're not that dynamically written? Yeah, I made one! And I'm damn proud of it, too. Also it's one of the few fem!BTR stories that I've ever seen on this site. I wonder why that is? Anyway, if they're anything better than gay guys and drama, it's gay girls and drama. Of course, that's not the only thing that's different about this. Carlos isn't here. Well, he _is_, but.. Ugh, just read it to find out.

**I edited this! Go ahead and re-read the part where- well, the middle part. If you're new here, though, just read as normal. xD**

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The scene: Los Angeles, twilight. It's just past 5PM and the city is beginning to go nocturnal, the loud buzz of cars and motorcycles subtely fading into the sounds of heavy bass and high heels clacking against pavement. It's not an abnormal thing for girls in revealing outfits or guys with myraid tattoos to come out of hiding at this time, with bottles in their hands or purses on their shoulder. It's all part of the Los Angeles night scene, really.

The sun is low in the sky, scorching the horizon with heat and there are just _clouds_, peach coloured wisps curling into the cosmic orb like kittens. The star is casting dark shadows on palm trees and beach piers, burning necks and casting white light everywhere.

A scooter is picking it's way across the city, black tires screeching on pavement and leaving nothing in it's wake but a trail of smoke and the smell of burnt rubber. It's been on the move for not too long now, but it's gained a tremendous amount of ground in the three minutes since it's engine started. It's nothing big, just a blue little thing but it's long and it's slender and it's not bad at weaving through cars, not bad at all. Within minutes it pulls into an apartment complex, skeeting illicitly over the sidewalk and coming to an absolutely abrupt halt at the front of a building marked 'J'.

On the scooter are two girls: one tall, blonde and lean, the shorter one with a fuller frame that goes well with her brown locks. The taller one flips up the glass barrier on her helmet, revealing a pair of wild green eyes. She whoops excitedly into the air. The shorter one would follow suit, but she's clinging to the blonde for dear life, absolutely frozen whilst the other seems to relish the feeling of the wind in her hair, running a hand through her toussled locks proudly.

"Okay, so," The brunette begins in a high-pitched voice, "Let's take the bus next time, okay?"

"Did you not have fun?" The taller girl asks, bringing a hand to her heart in a shocked manner.

"No, _YoYo_, I didn't. I hate you for talking me into that."

"No, you love me." The blonde jests, prodding the soft tissue on her thigh teasingly. The brunette recoils and leans away from the touch.

"I'll think about it." She scoffs, facing away from the other girl to both remove her helmet and to hide the smile forming on her face.

"Ookay," The blonde sings knowingly, smiling and swinging a leg over the seat of the motorcycle. A periwinkle stiletto heel makes contact with the pavement, followed by a green Vans sneaker. They get their other legs over the edge and put their helmets on the handles. In an attempt to quell the smile that tugged at her lips, the shorter girl began to fiddle with her phone while the blonde(the motorcycle's owner) proceeded to tie the motorcycle to a nearby bike rack. Whilst they were doing this, she spoke.

"Do you think she's gonna say yes?" The blonde could tell that despite the nonchalant tone in her voice, her companion was dealing with underlying anxiety.

"Don't worry about it, Mitchie." She waved her hand dismissively and flexed her palm, causing the small lock in her fingers to click shut. "Even if she doesn't, we can just blame me, okay?" Her voice is soothing and the brunette visibly relaxes at the reassuring words. "Besides," The blonde relentlessly continues, "Who'd say no to a face like mine?" She sticks her tongue out and it's pink on pink as she swipes them over her stained lips, playfully seductive. The brunette giggles and slips her phone back into her pocket.

"You _do_ have a point." There's a smile in her voice and she gazes warmly at her friend, waiting patiently as the blonde _click-clack_s her way over to her.

The walk up the stairs is silent but comfortable, the dull thuds of sneakers keeping in time with the dainty sound of heels on stone for the complete duration of the four-flight walk.

"Damn, they really need an elevator here." The blonde grumbles breathlessly as they come to a stop in front of a wooden door. Mitchie says nothing, but rolls her eyes and half-steps back. The taller girl takes advantage of the space and steps up, fishing a small blue house key out of her purse(cobalt, of _course_) and unlocking the door in front of her, followed by the very ladylike action of kicking it open- the boom of silicon on wood resounding through the enclosed building extremely loudly. The brunette flinches, cowering from the loud sound and screwing her eyes shut for a moment. Noticing this, the blonde rolls her eyes and withdraws the key from the lock, muttering, "Pussy.", and stepping inside. Mitchie follows with an expression that would be best described as astonishment mixed with incredulousness plastered upon her petite features.

The interior of the apartment is very standard- nothing fancy, but nothing bland(it _is_ LA, after all). There's a decently sized TV in the center of the living room and a pair of black pleather couches by the TV. A liquor coloured dining table nicely compliments the deep red rug that it sits upon, similar to how the mahogany cabinet that the television is rested upon goes very well with the cedar-tinted wooden floor. Accents are subtle but beautiful, simple things like retro figurines of mice and elephants sitting upon the coffee table in between the couches or the picasso-styled paintings of various animals, hung along white walls in their red hued glory. The blonde walks forth, and Mitchie follows suit, listening halfheartedly to the sound of the clicks change in pitch as the taller girl crosses from the tiled floor of the dining 'room'(seriously, did the architects who designed this place even know what walls _were_?) to the wooden floor of the living room, making a beeline for the only door in the house- to the left of the TV.

"Alright, so now we just have to find-" They're interrupted by the sound of something shattering on the ground, followed by an angry voice screaming, "No!", and then a differently sounding exasperated cry of "Carly, _no_!" Being who they were, the pair of girls knew exactly what that meant. Exchanging worried glances, they race towards the bedroom door and throw it open to reveal a sight that would be funny if it didn't have such a miserable context.

The bedroom was ordinary enough- a simple queen sized bed with a baby blue throw, dark magenta lines running down the soft expanse in a pattern, with similarly coloured curtains draped along one of the only two windows in the apartment. Upon the floor was a small circular rug, cobalt blue and perfectly in the center of the room. Aside from that, nothing else was really colourful- just a side table and a lamp and the standard room stuff.

What _wasn't_ normal about the room was the two blatantly unhappy girls standing in the middle, pieces of what looked to have once been a cell phone scattered at their feet. The taller of the two girls was clad in mostly dark colours, her outfit consisted mostly of leather and cotton articles. She was wearing a pair of black, thick-rimmed glasses, which were slipping off her visibly sweaty face. Her arms were hanging uselessly by her sides, but her fingers were clenched tightly, unpainted nails digging into the heel of her palm. Her pupils were pinpricks in the middle of a hazel plateau and her teeth were grit very, very tightly. She appeared to be using the last of her patience(not to mention self-control) on the girl in front of her, who although looked to be four or five years younger than her, seemed to have no shame in making her life more difficult.

The younger girl was standing squared to her, but her upper half was turned away, a petite nose poking in the air defiantly and her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes were practically black, but that was probably because of how huge her pupils were. She was dressed contrastingly brighter than her sister, dressed in a pastel yellow shirt and a pair of navy denim capris, purple converse tapping agitatedly at the ground.

The older girl ran a hand over her face in frustration, finally seeming to notice the other two girls' arrival.

"Oh. Keona, Mitchie. Hey. What are you doing here?" She barely lets out the first word of her sentence before she's bent over, picking up the pieces of the phone from the ground. As soon as she touches the first piece of plastic, a pale hand shoots out and grabs her wrist. She looks up in surprise to see the blonde, Keona, gripping her wrist tightly. She stares in confusion at her brightly coloured nails and looks up at Keona to see her staring intensely at her with bright green eyes.

"Sweetheart." She says it dryly, sardonically. "Have you forgotten that it's your _birthday_?" Her voice is incredulous, pink lips pursed, taking the piece of plastic from her hands and picking the rest of the phone up for her. The girl shrugs and sits back, knowing if she tried to help it wouldn't be allowed by her friend. Although girly, it was plain as day that Keona had muscles comparable to a baby dinosaur. Choosing not to respond to her blonde friend, the sitting girl looks up to see that Mitchie is trying to approach the younger girl.

"Mitchie, I don't think that's a good-" She begins to protest, but trails off as she sees the brightly dressed girl relax slightly in her presence.

"Carly," Mitchie begins in a soft voice, eying the darker haired girl in front of her with soft eyes, "Why did you break your phone?"

"You can keep with your phone!" Carly snaps, kicking a piece of it on the ground just as Keona's grabbing for it. None of the girls flinch at the sudden outburst, nor question the strange sentence structure that was used to convey the message. All three of them were used to it by now.

"Careful, Yoyo." The older girl warns, and the blonde sends an angry look her way as if to say, "_I can take care of myself_."

Mitchie puts her hands on her hips and stares Carly in the eyes angrily. "That was just _rude_. Apologize." She makes note of Carly as her stance gets slightly less rigid, but she doesn't back down. Instead, she just _hmph_s and takes a half-step back. The older brunette girl advances, repeating the command. "Apologize."

"Mitchie, that's not-"

"I got it, Jae. Carly, count to ten." The younger brunette stares at Mitchie defiantly, but after a pause she, almost compulsively, begins to do so.

"One, two, three," The words are spit angrily and the entire time she's glaring at Mitchie, but by the time she gets to six her voice has leveled out- rough at the edges, but calmer. When she reaches ten, her voice returns to a normal level. Instantly after the word left her mouth, her form visibly relaxed and she uncrossed her arms, letting them dangle limply at her sides. Mitchie let out a relieved sigh and stepped away from Carly, walking over and picking up the battery of the phone, which had somehow skid ten feet away from the center of the room where the girls stood.

The older girl, Jae, ran a hand over her face, and the other two girls noted the leather fingerless gloves that she was wearing. Now that they thought about it, they didn't think she'd ever taken them off before. Carly meandered to the other side of the room, singing to herself in a very off-key manner.

"Thanks." Jae says dryly, grabbing the battery from her hand. "I don't know how I would've dealt with that on my own. So really, thanks." She smiled appreciatively, her wavy auburn hair bouncing as she tilts her head. Mitchie exchanges glances with Keona, and the pair look back at their friend. She looks so _tired_. Despite her smile, her eyes are glossed with sleeplessness and otherwise indifferent, meaning the smile didn't reach that far. Her irises were dimmer. Even though they both knew that Jae was a tomboy and that she never spent too much time on her hair, it was a little bit _too _unkempt, even for her. They frowned and stared at their sitting friend for a moment before they remembered the reason for their visit. Keona, who was also sitting, sat up straight and dusted off her light gray skinny jeans.

"**Anyway**, since it's your fucking _twenty-first_ birthday today, we got reservations to _Paul_!" She squeals in excitement, hopping up and down slightly with her hands tucked into her chest prayer-style. Mitchie smiled down at the hazel-eyed girl hopefully. Paul was one of the top resturaunts in LA, specializing in french cuisine- which the two girls knew that Jae loved. Especially because they were the only french resturaunt in town that sold actual escargot, instead of the fake stuff that most resturaunts around the city sold. They both took note of the excited sparkle in her eyes, how the smile actually reached her eyes, which crinkled pleasantly at the edges. But just as quickly as it came, it was gone, and their hearts fell stimultaneously as the guyishly dressed girl shook her head and looked to the carpet, eyes downcast.

"I can't. I have to stay and take care of Carly." She turned around and looked at her sister as she said this, frowning as she watched the darker haired girl wring her hands nervously and mutter to herself, unseeing eyes fixed on the floor. Keona was more than a little miffed at this, seeing as they had been planning this surprise for weeks, but she understood. Really, they both did.

The Diamonds had been a very well-off family from the start, with a three story, quite homey mansion. It wasn't exactly the best they could do, given that both of Jae's parents had been such famous entrepreneurs that they were legendary, idols who were equal in wealth and fame only to people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. His dad owned a cosmetics company, _Brock Diamond Cosmetics_, which had endorsed special products for many celebrities ranging from Justine Beiber to Lola Lerman to Victor Justice, with four different mens lines(one for each season) and countless different perfumes, makeup lines and other women's products. His mom, on the other hand, managed a sports magazine called _Dribble_. Despite it's name, it actually focused more on football players and sports gossip than basketball. The couple, though famous for their wealth and innofation, was more famous for refusing to conform to gender boundaries. Either way, their fame and wealth granted them access to houses that were easily triple the size of the house that they had lived in, but since they had always been down-to-earth people, they never let themselves go crazy with their money.

Since she had been a little kid, Jae understood what it meant to be in the hospital. She knew they housed sick people. Being a little kid with a weak immune system and a lack of inhibition(slash commmon sense), she had visited them plenty of times. She also knew they housed dying people, as was evident when her grandmother went in and never came out. She was young, but not dumb. What she didn't know was that hospitals also carried life. She learned this lesson very quickly, however, when she was five, and her mother dissappeared for a few days. She was nothing short of excited, though, when her mom returned days later.. with a companion! A small baby soon joined the family roster, and Jae had accepted her immediately, appreciating her coffee coloured eyes and darkly coloured skin. She looked just like her mom, whilst she looked like her dad. Jae played with the baby as often as she could, teaching her new words and making her laugh.

"Do you like her, Jae?" Her mom had asked her. "Her name is Carly." And she smiled and hugged Jae and Jae buried her face in her mother, warmth and cinnamon and _love_.

It was when Jae was 10 that things began to get worse. She remembers the arguments, the long, quiet discussions(seriously, what _was_ Auh-tizm anyway?), the crying. God, the _crying_. It never stopped. It wasn't long before her parents began to completely ignore her, always hovering over Carly. She didn't mind it in the end, all that it had done was made her more dependent- she had learned not to lean on anyone or to be dependent on others- after all, they might not always be there.

It was around this time that people began to drift in and out of their house, people who used fancy words like "Treatment" and "Therapy". She had only been 10, not old enough to understand what the words meant and not nearly old enough to understand the magitude of the situation. She watched in ignorance as her sister grew up with a mental handicap, not fully understanding until she had reached her mid teens. Even at that point, she didn't know everything- just the basic details and how to deal with her sister. She knew that Carly was afflicted with a disorder known as the Autism Spectrum, but she was high-functioning, which meant that she was able to communicate better than the majority of other kids on the spectrum. Jae also had understood that Carly never meant anything that she did, despite how much it could hurt her, mentally or physically. She was still learning a few things at that point, though. Like how to calm Carly down when she got agitated(it was truly hard not to freeze with fear when your younger sister screams at every attempt at communication you make to her); or how to deal with her when she scratched, hit, or bit herself; nor did she understand fully how to deal with her violent episodes. But she had figured that she would learn with time, and she had.

By the time she was 15, she had a pretty good handle on things. She could calm Carly down as well as her parents, although it was very obvious that her younger sister preferred them and her therapist, Casey, over her. They had figured Carly very well by this point in time, and it seemed like things were finally looking up for the Diamond family. Of course, good things never last.

It's 12:04am sharp when the fire starts. It's a blur, but she remembers bits and pieces. There was screaming, and crying, and thick, smokey air. She remembers sprinting as fast as she can out of the house, then, realising she's alone, darting back in. She remembers the coughing, and the cinders that charred her left arm permanently when it falls from the celing. She remembers following the strangled, confused cries of her sister up the marble stairs of the house, her feet burning as she literally walks on fire. She remembers seeing her sister circling a blazing, melting chandelier, letting out high-pitched screams of despair. She remembers the smell of charred flesh and burnt leather, the paralyzed screams on her parents burning faces(they had probably gotten trapped under it as they were trying to usher Carly out of the house). She remembers grabbing her little sister as fast as she can, ignoring it when scalding hot, liquid metal drips from the celing and onto her bak and she hoists Carly onto her shoulder and dashes out of the house, falling to her knees in exhaustion just as the fire department arrived.

Since then, life hadn't been kind to her. Or, in a way, she guessed it had- since anything was better than third degree burns, an autistic sister and dead parents. Her mothers sister was gracious enough to let the pair stay with them, tolerating Carly's worsening condition and Jae's depressive state following the fire. It was around that time that she had met Keona(she was actually her uncles' niece). That had helped the transition a little bit, as they had become fast friends and they confided in each other a lot.

The remaining Diamond's had been reimbursed of everything thanks to insurance, but they would have traded all two billion for their parents lives. Of course, as if things weren't bad enough for the pair, it was around then that the older sister had decided that the only way to relieve herself of her pain was to inflict it further. Thanks to a three-year-long lapse of burning and cutting, eventually she ended up in a psychiatric ward for one cut too many. She hadn't meant to cut that deep, of course- since the fire she had felt a new sense of protectiveness towards Carly, a need to be there for her(after all, who else would be there for her if her own sister wouldn't?). However, the one good thing that had come out of being in the ward was that she had met Mitchie there, who was doing an internship working with the nurses as she had wanted to be a psycologist and was currently enrolled in a nearby college as a psych/soch major. The two had talked a lot and quickly grew close, and as if by fate, when Jae had been released and tried to introduce her two friends, they had somehow already known each other- had gone to the same high school. Of course, this had only made it easier for them to bond, and soon the three formed a relationship that was unbreakable- it had stood the test of time, lasting three whole years(and counting). Thanks to her two friends, she had been cut free for three years(although Keona actually had no idea about any of the self-harming to begin with)- to the day, now. She owed a lot to them, but despite this, Carly was still her number one priority.

Currently she was studying online to become a mechanic(she had finished her undergrad in Automotive Mechanics and was now trying to get a Doctorate) but had somehow managed to land two online jobs(she was the webmaster for a small, independent grocery store franchise and she was paid to write scripts for and edit video seminars teaching electrical mechanics), earning herself a measly salary- barely above minimum wage. Despite the lump sum of money she had gotten as reimbursement, she was losing the money at an exponential rate because of the lack of a proper income, and because of this she very paranoid about ending up on the streets and not being able to provide for her sister. It wasn't like they were in debt,(_yet_, she would insist), but at the same time, she had a right to be paranoid- the road to being an engineer was not _cheap_, nor was it _easy_, and Carly's wasn't easy to pay for- what with her therapy, insurance, enrichment classes(a theraputic farm where Carly would ride horses with other autistic kids and a basketball program with a company called _Special Olympics_ both held sessions with the girl bi-weekly), supporting her picky eating habits, and the medical bills- _especially _the medical bills.

Carly had developed an unfortunatee ailment when she turned 16(just four months ago)- an abcess in the joint of her left ankle. Luckily, the doctors had managed to remove it before it got lethal, or worse- spread, but the catch was that now, her left leg would grow slower than the right. The surgery had been a success, but it had given her something called Leg Length Discrepancy, which required physical therapy, morphine pills and a pair of specially made shoes with different sole heights. Although the difference in leg length was minute, it was big enough to cause discomfort, so Jae did everything she could- spent everything she could- to give Carly as normal of a life as possible. So far, it was working. But the issue was that upkeep was a hassle- despite the surgery being over, Jae still had to pay for the therapy, medecation and bi-yearly x-rays to make sure the abcess didn't make a comeback.

It was because of this paranoia, this phobia of being dependent that Jae didn't have a social life, and as she had recently accepted, probably never would. She had to take care of Carly, Carly always came first. And that's why she had to say no to her friends.

"Are you sure?" Mitchie steps forward, smiling hopefully at Jae. Jae feels her resolve falter when she's hit with two smolders at the same time, and she thinks, _maybe one little outing wouldn't hurt. I haven't had a night off since.. well, I haven't, have I?_ But all it takes is one look at Carly before her walls build back up again.

"Yes." She says firmly, finally standing up. "I have to take care of her, it's my job. Not to mention my _actual_ jobs, which I still need to work on- I have like, three tons of paperwork to finish." The other two girls share defeated glances and sigh. Jae's gaze softens.

"I would, guys, really. But I can't leave Carly by herself, and I don't want to embarass you guys by taking her with us." Jae is looking at the floor now, a guilty expression on her face.

"Whatever, it's fine." Keona says.

"Yeah!" Mitchie says brightly. "We get it." They begin to make their way out of the apartment, but not before Keona could comment, "Damn, girl! That chinese takeout you always eat did wonders on your figure. If you were a lesbian, I'd fuck you through the floor. Seeya, sweet thang." Jae only blushed brightly and left the room, Carly trailing at her heels, whilst the pair of visitors left.

"Yoyo, you should probably stop sexually harassing her like that." Mitchie scolds, closing the door behind them. Keona scoffs, mascara-coated lashes fluttering.

"Honey, please. It's not 'harassment', it's a compliment. Besides, why shouldn't I compliment her? She really is a sweet piece of ass, and I wish she wasn't such a workaholic. _Serious_ turn-off." The blonde states, re-adjusting her gray beret and grinning proudly. Her chocolate-haired companion sighs in disgust and runs a hand over her face exasperatedly.

"It doesn't matter, Ke! We're supposed to be helping her, not giving her more shit to worry about."

"I know, I know. But still," The stylish girl pursed her lips, "I wish we'd gotten to take her to a bar today. All it would take was one Kamikaze, the _best_ birthday sex(courtesy of me), and she'd be about as straight as a crowbar." Mitchie threw her hands up in defeat and groaned, but said nothing. Keona looked over at Mitchie with a playful glint in her eyes.

"Don't worry, sweetie. You'll get a turn on this eventually. You have the best rack I've ever seen on a girl- actually, are you wearing a pushup bra?"

"YoYo?"

"Yes, babe?"

"Shut up." Keona giggled but didn't respond to her friends snarkiness, following after her with a smile on her face.

The pair walked together down the flight of stairs, exchanging small talk and awkward, uncomfortable smiles throughout. It wasn't that it was _actually_ awkward, they were just both distracted and unhappy becuase of the circumstances. After all, despite her devotion to Carly, Jae had done a _lot_ for Mitchie and Keona- bitching out cheating girlfriends(or in Mitchie's case, professors), pulling all-night study sessions(or in Keona's case, listening to her cry about a breakup for hours on end- which wasn't a rare occurence), and she did other things just to show how much she cared about her two friends, even going as far as to get Mitchie a new laptop when hers broke down and she couldn't scrape enough money together in time(she had had a big project due the next day for her class), or far enough to raffle for(and win) a five thousand dollar shopping spree to Forever 21- all in Keona's name. The shopaholic, ever a teen at heart despite being 22, had gone wild with it, practically buying out the whole store. It was these little incidents that were going through their mind as they walked down, and they wished more than anything that Jae would take five minutes off of her busy life just to let them treat her and appreciate her. But with Carly's condition, that wasn't going to happen any time soon. As if thinking the same thing, they both stopped at the landing of the last flight of stairs, turning to face each other. Their eyes, though dark, spoke millions of words, and they nodded to each other with an unspoken message. They began to descend again, and it was as they began to put on their helmets that one of them finally spoke.

"We're going to give Jae the best birthday ever, aren't we?" Mitchie grinned, hearing Keona let out a determined whoop.

"Hell yeah, honey."

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**Edit: Okay, so no One Direction guys, then? poo.**

**A/N:** It's just begun! This chapter is just to set things up, you know? To make clear of the situation and start off the plot. I hope you guys understand this. If not, here's a breakdown:

-This is a genderswap world, meaning that everyone who is a dude is a chick, and vice-versa. Hence "Victor" Justice, "Lola" Lerman, ec cetera, ec cetera.

-James is now Jamelyn "Jae" Isabelle Diamond, Kendall is Keona "Yoyo"(Ke-yo-na, see?) Knight, Carlos is Carly "Carles" Valerie Diamond(I was going to make her adopted but fuck it xD) and Logan turned into Mitchie(Michelle) Prudence Logan(as in, Logan is now the last name). The thing with her was that the only name I could think of that didn't sound absurd was Lola, but that really didn't fit, so I just decided to switch the order of the names.

-Carlos(Carly) is on the Autism spectrum, which is a mental disorder that's too complicated to describe. The jist is, she's not independent and has little to no self control or social skills. Also, the universal symbol for Autism is puzzle pieces, hence the name.

You might be wondering why Kendall is so girly in this. Here's my logic: Since everything is flipped, this is how it is. Male Kendall was pretty masculine in the BTR-verse, right? Meaning he conformed to his gender. So female Kendall is going to be femenine, since she's also conforming to her gender. Logan is also the same way, but not as drastic since mostly he just wears very preppy clothing(sweater vests and dorky things only he could pull off) on the show. With James, he was very femenine on the show, hence his masculinity here. Does that make sense?

Also Kendall is a very sassy lipstick lesbian. Aw, yes.

So, like? Review? Please? I'm not updating this shit unless someone tells me they read it. I mean god _DAMN_,who wants to sing to deaf ears?


	2. painfully acidic

**a/n**: the worst thing that could ever happen to me is reading a really really good fic and then suddenly the author is like NO SLASH

and im like

NO STOP

my heart can only take so much

also GUYSSS I MADE A FRIEND WHOS A COOL WRITER AND I LIKE THEIR WRITING SO GO LOOOOOOOK! their pen name is **Ink Spotz** and they wrote about james maslow and its COOL GO LOOK

(but read this chapter first please because you have to)

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The night had gone by somberly for the two dejected young adults, as they had spent the rest of their time at Keona's house, playing drunken games of Go Fish and staying up late playing Insaniquariam. ..What? It was Friday and they were drunk, they were allowed to do whatever they wanted.

But as of right now, the last thing that Mitchie wanted to do was stay at Yoyo's house while she made out with her popstar girlfriend, Louise(god knows how YoYo had met one of the band members of _One Way_, although at the same time, it was Keona- she had her connections.. and her clubs). It wasn't like the girl was an eyesore, what with her resplendent, layered, highlighted brunette hair; or her frigid azure eyes; or that she was a pain to be around- quite the contrary, actually. Mitchie couldn't imagine anyone better for Keona, but she just didn't enjoy the sight of one of her best friends making out with someone who she had only seen, before they got to dating, on posters.

Either way, she'd woken up to moaning that signified the other two inhabitants of Keona's flat were doing more intimate things than should really be allowed at eight in the morning, and promptly went back to her own house. Each time she remembered it, her heart panged slightly as she was only reminded further of how alone she was. It wasn't like she had the time(or rather, would let herself have the time) to have a significant other, but that didn't make her want one any less.

She had stayed at her house until late noon, catching up on her studying so that she could have the rest of the weekend to be with Jae. Not that she didn't like studying(she found it nice to clear her head), but she sure liked Jae a whole lot more than she liked school.

Her destination? Quite obviously Jae's house. The raven haired girl was more than determined to give her friend a birthday that she would never forget, even if it meant never even leaving her apartment. She had given the whole 'go out to get drunk' thing some thought and decided that was probably a very bad approach. So, instead, after her study session, she'd gone on a little shopping trip, picking up some things that weren't extravagant, but would probably mean the world to her friend.

Sighing, Mitchie adjusted the backpack strap on her shoulder. Even though she wasn't going to school, she for some reason always carried it with her. It was quite convenient, actually, and it was definitely not something that she minded, considering the only alternative was carrying a purse around, and that was not something she could pull off. She stared at the cracks in the pavement nonchalantly, walking with opalescent tranquility pulsating through her veins.

She pulled a lock of saturated brunette hair from her face. Something about today just seemed like it was going to go.. well. Very, very well. Of course, that was if she got to the bus stop in time.

She sees the large double decker bus pulling onto the side of the road that's _not_ hers, and in a panicked frenzy she darts across the street, narrowly missing a vehicle-induced deminse in her hurry to make sure the bus didn't leave without her. She sighs in relief as she hurriedly walks up the steps, pausing to hand the bus drivier her pass as she walks down the aisle.

By the time the bus gets to Jae's house, it's fucking _sunset_ and Mitchie is about goddamn tired of Los Angeles traffic(seriously, she could've gotten to the Pinewood complex faster if she'd _walked_). Sighing tiredly, she slumps her way off the bus and faces the daunting staircase of building J that lead to Jae's house. Sighing, she walks forth, prepared to lose even more energy than she already had. Birthdays were fun to celebrate and all, but did Jae _really_ have to get an apartment on the top floor? Gosh.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the Knight residence, all is silent save for the sound of stolen kisses. A pair of bodies are sweaty in all the right places, with their hips grinding rythmatically against each other. Both were clad in nothing but undergarments, lace aglow in the dim light of the room.

"Hey," Keona asks in between kisses. "Do you ever read 1W Fanfiction?" A chuckle resounds from the middle of Louise's throat, because although it's not a moodkiller, the question is extremely haphazard.

"Sometimes," She responds. "Why?" Keona shrugs and pushes her lover onto the bed, hovering over her with a lustrous glint in her eyes.

"I was just thinking. Do you ship any of the band members?" YoYo sits back, staring at her blue-eyed girlfriend curiously. Said girlfriend can't figure out where these questions are coming from, but then again, it's Keona, she thinks at a mile a minute and questions that seem to come out of nowhere for her probably have bounding back and forth in her mind for hours before she thinks it's okay to ask them.

"Yeah, I guess. Zeina and Nadia fight like, all the time, so I think there's some sexual tension there. I also think that Lindsy may or may not have the hots for me. Can we make out now?" She grabs the tan shoulders in front of her and pulls YoYo's lips down to hers, but she resists. Being the jealous(and overly curious, and overly suspicious) type, her attention is snared now, and she's not about to change the subject.

"Wait, why do you think that?"

* * *

Once at the top, Mitchie leans against the wall for a moment to regain her breath. Haven't they ever heard of escalators? Scoffing in exhaustion, she steps forward and pulls the house key that Jae had given her from her pocket and unlocks the apartment door. The brunette takes a moment to wipe her feet before she walks inside, calling for her lighter-haired friend.

"Jae?" She speaks loudly, her voice resounding through the apartment. Almost instantly, Jae pops out of the only bedroom in the apartment and shoots towards her, sliding on her fluffy black socks along the wooden floor. Once to Mitchie, she clamps a pale hand over her mouth and harshly whisper-shouts, '_shhhh_!'.

Taken aback, Mitchie takes a few steps backwards and gives her friend a questioning glance. When the younger girl gestures wildly to the bedroom, Mitchie rolls her eyes and quietly closes the door behind her. Of _course _Casey's over, it's a Saturday. Mitchie slaps her forehead and mouths 'sorry' to Jae, who leads her to the other end of the very large apartment space, around the island-ish wall that barely separated the living room area from the kitchen area. The taller girl(Jae) hops up onto the granite countertop and adjusts her fingerless gloves in a fidgety manner, looking into Mitchie's glinting eyes with question in her own. Mitchie's gaze darts down to the leather on her hands and her coffee gaze softens, just barely, and just for an instant, but it's there, and Jae sees it. They both remember the day she'd gotten those gloves, when a nurse had walked into her room in the mental ward, right in front of Mitchie, and said that the only thing of her dad's that had been saved were those gloves. She'd put them on, and Mitchie had never seen her take them off since- three whole years without washing her hands. It was heartwarming, sad, and.. gross. Mitchie found herself stepping forward and cradling one of Jae's hands to her chest, gently toying with her slender fingers and running her fingers over the black leather.

"Do you still think about them?" Mitchie queries, looking up at Jae with a tender gaze.

"Every day." The response is soft, those pale pink lips barely move and Mitchie can barely hear it, but the magnitude of the words is still enough to make her knees weak. This girl, this girl on the countertop was strong, stronger than anyone she'd ever met. When the short-statured girl looks up, she sees Jae with the ghost of a smile on her face, looking behind her, in the direction of Carly's room.

"She's all I have left of them." Mitchie doesn't respond, she just fiddles with the velcro strap on the glove, cringing slightly when Jae gently retracts her hand and makes eye contact once more.

"Why're you here?" She whispers, which only earns her an eye-roll from the girl standing in front of her. Mitchie lifts her cheek in a lopsided, sardonically thoughtful facial expression.

"Did you already forget you're old enough to get **wasted **now, or what?"

"I'm not going drinking with you!"

"I didn't ask you to." Mitchie suddenly drops to one knee and pulls off her backpack, swinging it over and onto the tile floor in front of her. She zips it open and begins to rumage through it, and while she does so, she explains to her now very curious friend. "I brought you some stuff. I know it's not much, but.."

Onto the floor, right at Jae's Vans-clad feet, Mitchie plops down: a _Monopoly_ _Deal_ card game, a southern cookbook, a Mechanics textbook that she knew Jae had been saving up for and finally, three necklaces. The emotions that play on Jae's face are priceless: the nostalgia dancing in her eyes is heartwarming, the astonishment playing across her lips is amusing and finally the smile and child-like happiness that glows on her features is enough to make Mitchie smile as well. The first thing Jae grabs is the necklaces, and as she dangles the leather string from her fingers, her cheeks flush with emotion.

"Mitchie, how did you find these?" Jae runs her finger over the smooth silver of the tooth-shaped pendants, inspecting the words _Brock Diamond Inc. _engraved in the metal, and even though she can't, somehow Mitchie _can_ see the memories of her childhood reflected in her friends eyes.

"To be honest, it wasn't easy, or on purpose, for that matter." Mitchie rubs the back of her neck awkwardly. "I just saw them in the window of this hippie store that I walked by and I was like, 'Oh, hey, Jae used to wear a necklace like that.'" She smiled at her friend.

"They're beautiful, Mitchie! I didn't think I'd ever see one of these again, my dad discontinued the line so early. Thank you." She leans forward to hug Mitchie, but pauses. She looks to her hand and back at her pale friend, as if contemplating something, and then with a slight shrug of her shoulders, she hands Mitchie two of the necklaces back and attaches the remaining one to her neck.

"Keep one, and give the other to Ke." Mitchie nods approvingly, putting one back into the backpack and attaching the other around her own neck, neatly tucking it into the collar of her sweatervest. She looked up timidly and got caught in the appreciative hazel gaze that was piercing through her, forcing her to lose her words for a moment. She'd never noticed how focused Jae was. She wasn't necessarily the most book-smart in their little group, but that didn't mean that she wasn't intelligent. Hell, intelligence was so thickly obvious in her greenish brown orbs that it was almost tangible. Mitchie stared into her friend's dilated pupils for what seemed like an eternity; unblinking, unmoving, frozen, thinking. The brunette girl couldn't help but wonder what the hell was going through her friends head when she stared like that. She blinked, and just like that, Jae had practically teleported beside her, having slid off the countertop to perch on the tile in one fluid motion.

"Oh my _god, _you got me a Paul Deen cookbook?! Mitchie, he has the _best_ biscut recipe ever! A-and the textbook, and **Monopoly Deal**! **Monopoly**!" Jae was talking with a high-pitched giddy voice, quickly like an excited child, and Mitchie had to utilize all of her strength to supress laughter as her friend flipped out in front of her.

"I can't believe you did all this! You're amazing, dude! Thank you!" And with that, she tackled her friend into the floor, showering her with words of appreciation and squishes.

"Whoa, easy, easy." Mitchie laughs, slightly uncomfortably, and gently unpries herself from her touchy-feely friend. "It's fine, okay? I thought you'd like it. But, uh.. weren't you doing something before I came?" Jae perks up in shock, an urgent expression on her face.

"Shit! I have an essay on fluid dynamics due-" Her hazel gaze dropped to her watch and her jaw dropped. "Two hours from now!" She dashed off to the laptop that was sitting on the dining room table and began to type fervently. Mitchie smiled and shook her head at her friends antics, then pulled out a textbook of her own to review for a test she was having on Tuesday.

* * *

_"Well, at party we went to after one of our concerts, Lindsy got shitface wasted and tried to kiss me. I didn't let her, but afterwards she was really heavily flirting with me and stuff. At first I sort of thought it was just the alcohol, but once she sobered up the next day, I realized that she's really touchy-feely- I mean, she is to all of us, but especially me. She never brought up that night, though, so I'm still not 100% sure. __**Now**__ can we kiss?"_

_"Wait," Keona held up a hand to stop her girlfriend as she lunged forward eagerly again. "When was this?"_

_"Like a week ago, why?"_

_"Wait, we've been dating like, two months." Keona looks incredulous now._

_"So?"_

_"You never thought to tell me about this weird lesbian romance that you've got going on the side?"_

_"It's a one-sided thing, YoYo, I promise. Do you trust me?"_

_"Yes, but I don't trust that __**skankbag**__, Lindsy!"_

_"What did you just call her?! Look, Keona, I like you and all, but I've known Lindsy for __**years**__. And the band always comes first. If you're going to be a suspicious bitch, then I have no reason to stay."_

_"Fine, leave! See if I care."_

But she does. God, she does and all she wants is to get her girlfriend back into her arms, tell her that she didn't mean anything she said, that she was sorry, and ask _can I make it up to you by taking us to Disneyland tomorrow_? That's usually how she fixes these things.

But this time? She's paralyzed, exactly in the same position as she has been for half an hour now. Keona considers it, though. Getting up, chasing after Louise through the streets of LA. Apologizing in front of everyonne- tears could be shed, it could be a really romantic thing. Really. She knows Louise would welcome her back with open arms, because both the girls have pride issues and they know how big it is to step down and just _apologize_, and it's not like they're going to hate each other because of Keona's insecurities. Keona really, truly considers going up and catching up to Louise.

But she doesn't.

* * *

It's three hours later, Casey's gone home and Carly's fast asleep, and Mitchie's appalled that Jae hasn't stopped working. She already turned in the essay, but since that time, she'd filled out a stack of paperwork that even intimidated Mitchie, called five different members of Social Security to sort out some problems she had been having while trying to apply Carly for one of their financial aid programs, and was now in the middle of taking notes for an entirely different essay that was due the next day.

Mitchie had even finished her own studying by this time, and was completely astonished at how much work her friend had to do. She had been trying to gather up the courage for the past half hour to approach Jae and ask her about how regular the heavy work she had to endure was, but couldn't find the words.

So for the past half hour, she had just been sitting on the floor and flexing her mouth like a fish while staring at the girl seated at the table. Before she could force the words past her lips, though, Jamie excused herself to the bathroom. Sighing, Mitchie leaned back and hugged her knees, willing her friend to come back so they could talk properly about the unjustified workload that she was putting herself through.

Minutes passed, twenty of them, and Jae still hadn't returned. Mitchie knew it wasn't her business, but most people only took two or three minutes to piss. Concerned, she got up and quietly made her way to the other side of the large room, where the only door that wasn't Carly's room resided: the bathroom. She raised her fist to knock on the door, but paused.

Did she hear _vomiting_?

* * *

**a/n:** yes, i _actually_ put one of the 1D guys in here. (KendallXLouis is now a legit thing. :O I CALL COPYRIGHTS ON IT. also the ship name is tomlinschmidt. xD) don't worry, though, cause she's gonna be gone soon. xP you anti-directioners will probably LOVE the next chapter, so stick around, okay?

also, i should PROOOOOOBABLY explain what Jae's house looks like. i didnt want to litter the story with descriptions, so i'm just going to describe it here. it's basically one huge room, right? there's only three doors in the apartment: carly's room, the guest bathroom(there's another one inside carly's room), and the front door. one half of the large room is a living room, and the other half is divided evenly between a dining room and a kitchen. the floor of the kitchen is tile, as is the dining room, but the living room has polished wooden floors. there's a wall on one side of the kitchen, so it's like the kitchen is in a funnel or something because it's against the wall of the apartment itself, but it also is closed off on one side. so there are no doors other than that. yup.

ALSOOOO, OUR FEMALE BIG TIME RUSH FRIENDS MAY OR MAY NOT MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS. :

ps: don't make assumptions about the ending. xD

/puppy eyes/ please review! chances are, if you make a suggestion, i'll listen to it! unless you ask me to turn them into boys COUGHS LOUDLY PENASCHMIDT COUGH COUGH


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